What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here? When humans last checked in with Montreal mutants Blessed by a Broken Heart, they were busy spewing run-of-the-mill metalcore spiced with perplexing attempts at silly humor, and strewn with goofy voices on their ADD-afflicted debut, All Is Fair in Love and War. Now, after scoring a truly mind-boggling contract with respected extreme metal label Century Media, the impenitent sextet has raided Mötley Crüe's wardrobe, make-up case, and hairspray cans, circa 1985's Theatre of Pain, and reinvented itself as a feel-good party band. Therefore, their resulting sophomore album, Pedal to the Metal, mixes '80s pop-glam posturing and '00s metalcore sounds with futuristic beats and synthesizers to concoct a frankly jaw-dropping death-gumbo; all of it capped by gang choruses exhorting laughably inane lyrics. Keep in mind, though, that beneath all the visual fluff, BBABH's new repertoire is still essentially your ordinary melodic metalcore, only embellished with saccharine melodies, flamboyant shred guitar solos, and performed with the bouncy verve of the #High School Musical cast (see Show Me What You Got, Blood on Your Hands, etc.). Or else, they comprise soft-core Nintendo-core, à la Horse the Band (e.g. Doing It, Carry On) -- only lacking in that band's inspired lunacy and math-metal intricacy. All of which should serve as fair warning to surviving '80s glam rock fans who may feel drawn to the promise of drunken, superficial fun implied by trivial titles like She's Dangerous and Move Your Body, featuring the key lyric "School's out and it's time to party"! Beware the frequent use of harsh hardcore vocals, *Pac-Man-inspired synth-lines, and techno-driven aerobicise beats, as heard on the truly unbelievable Don't Stop, which pontificates: "Don't stop 'til you feel the burn" -- need we say more? Then again, BBABH may simply be the pioneers of a new millennium cock-core movement (sorry, Andrew W.K.)! If such a terrifying scenario should indeed come to pass, then Pedal to the Metal's side-splitting opener She-Wolf, its suitably named closer Ride into the Night, and the conspicuously gadget-free, innocuously neutered summer ballad To Be Young, may actually become anthems for an entirely new generation of listeners, lost to crap music forever (and, by extension, they may represent the second coming for your average Britney Fox or Pretty Boy Floyd fan). In light of such apocalyptic visions, one can only hope that discerning music lovers of a distant future will send a rock & roll terminator back in time to stop Blessed by a Broken Heart, before their hideous mockery of music in general -- never mind glam metal -- can prosper any further. Oh, heck, who are we kidding? They'll probably be huge! ~ Eduardo Rivadavia, Rovi

1		Intro
2		She Wolf
3		Show Me What You Got
4		Move Your Body
5		She's Dangerous
6		To Be Young
7		Doing It
8		Blood on Your Hands
9		Don't Stop
10		Carry On
11		Ride into the Night